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Dear Incest Survivor

I can’t pretend to know what you are feeling, because each person’s pain is individual. But I survived incest. My father abused me from the age of eight until I was fifteen. My mom knew what was going on, but did nothing except keep notebooks detailing each visit. Each morning she would say, “I heard him in your room last night, tell me what he did.” I quit telling her everything when I realized she only used it to get sympathy from her friends.

I tried many coping strategies. I thought suicide would be a way out. If things got too bad, I’d off myself. I tried living in a fantasy world, drugs, and as a young adult other actions that were self-destructive. None of these worked.

I blamed myself. Tried to find excuses for them. Anything to take away the hurt of what was stolen from me, my innocence.

Years after they died, I still harbored hate and anger at their actions. Sad thing was, they were dead and the only one the hate and anger hurt was me. Finally I realized that I needed to forgive them, but that didn’t seem right. How could I give them a free pass for all the hurt they caused me?

Truth is, forgiveness is a very selfish act. It is never for the forgiven and it has nothing to do with absolving a person from their guilt. The guilty one will answer to God. What forgiveness did for me was lifting a weight of oppression from me. I no longer carried my dead parents around in my mind. Why was I giving them a place in my life? No, I didn’t forgive and forget. The memories are there, the actions are there, but forgiveness helped me to let go and not have the emotions tear me apart.

Forgiveness was the first step to healing. I am praying that you find freedom from the hurts of your past.

Today’s letter was written by Name: HEATHER
Written From: NEW YORK
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Stuck in the middle

Dear Middle Man,

It occurred to me this week amidst all of my moaning and bitching that you probably have the worst job possible. Decisions are made that need to be implemented and regardless of which way the outcome goes, you get the shaft. Great outcomes mean that those above you get praised for being so insightful and forward thinking while you get a pat on the back for doing job. But what’s worse is if things don’t go according to plan. When the shit hits the fan you are the one holding the bag, trying to salvage what you can from a decision gone terribly wrong. You are the one that people point fingers at. You are the one who takes the frustrations of those negatively effected by a terrible call. You are the only face that people know to blame.

You are still just doing your job.

That whole saying of give credit where credit is due doesn’t really seem to apply to you. I was once told that there is no such thing as a wrong decision. There are only decisions that lead to other decisions. Regardless of who negative the outcome, there will always be another decision tomorrow.

It’s now my time to decide. I will do my best to decide to put my big boy pants on and quit taking petty crap out on you, The Middle Man.


        – Dave

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One Day at a Time

Dear Neighbour,

When I saw you yesterday, my heart sank. The battle you have been fighting for so long finally look itself to a terribly deep place and it involved those around you. Your choice made me want to scream at you!

When we talked today you had deep regret for the choice you made. I pray that it will show you that what you have in your life is worth while. That as hard as it is to fight the temptation of reaching for a bottle, it’s not the answer. I hope that it opened your eyes to how much worse you could have made things.

I hope this makes you fight. Fight for your family, fight for your child, but most of all, fight for yourself. Because you are worth it! You have a light inside that, although flickering, can be re-ignighted as long as you start to see the beauty in you.

I pray you start to see it and that you start believing that it is possible to be strong again. It may take time but the healing will come.

One day at a time.

Today’s letter was written by Anonymous Twitter: Blog: Written From: Kelowna, BC
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In the face of defeat, leave the molotov cocktail at home

Today’s letter goes out to every Vancouver Canucks fan that held their heads high Matt Lockhart (@Treelines) for planking the riots after being defeated on home ice in game 7 of the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals. We’ll get ’em next year.

Dear Disappointed Fans, As the first goal was scored in the first period, I heard you and the entire provice gasp as if a knife had just been plunged into your heart. As time wore on and the minutes dwindled to the final horn I could see the disappointment in your forlorn face. What I didn't see was anger or destruction. It appears as though there will always be those idiots who take things too far but you are not one of them. Don't let the disgrace of other tear down your ability to be gracious. Although the loss was difficult and a long time coming, keep your head held high. Continue to support, cheer and fight for your team. Show the world that you know how to go down in defeat with dignity. You have a lot to be proud of by propelling your team to the Stanley Cup Finals. Some take the easy way out and create a path of destruction for destruction's sake. It far more difficult to look your opponent in the eye and say, "Well played, good sir. Next time you won't be so lucky."  -Dave
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Are You a Quitter? (I Hope So)

Dear Contemplative Quitter, I can see you teetering back and forth from a mile away, being pushed by the winds of exhaustion and perseverance. Will you quit and move on or dig in and push forward? It's kind of a loaded question. Society has taught us that we can't fail. We need to finish what we've started. We need to strive for perfection, spoon feeding us the bullshit that perfection actually exists. The real question that needs to be asked is this: Is not quitting holding you back from starting a project that will change the world? I can't answer that for you. It's something you're going to have to decide for yourself. If it is, quit. Start another project. Do something that inspires you. We all have things that we've failed at. We're just really good at hiding them from the ridicule of our culture. Let the wind blow you where it will. Don't fight either force. You will end up where you're supposed to be.  -Dave
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Jack Frost vs. Your Destiny

Dear Spring Wishers, Yesterday there was snow on the ground at my house. I was pissed. Not because I hate snow but because the snow seems to slow Spring's momentum down. Every time it feels like Winter has finally left for the year, she turns around and gives me the finger in the form of a snowflake covered lawn. I gumble. I complain. I do nothing but wait until the damn snow melts. But not you. On the very same day, you and your friend were out jogging as if to say "Screw you Jack Frost. I'm going for a run." I find that about myself; if things don't go exactly right, I get irritated and angry while sitting on my ass waiting for things to get better. I wonder how many people around me do the same? I'm learning to fight and take control of my destiny, deciding what it will actually be as opposed to letting destiny decide for me. No more waiting for Spring to come. Like you, I will decide to act as if Winter never happened.   Thank you.  -Dave
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A Dream’s Worst Nightmare

Dear Passive Aggressive Dreamer, I think we both know you have to choose. You either slip into a permanent pattern of illegitimate self loathing or you imagine and you create. You can't do both. Only one option allows you to surpass mediocrity and do something great. That's the one you choose. The world depends on you to make that choice. I depend on you to make that choice. Dream and be great.