Sometimes I feel silly dragging my old body across a University campus, but today you let me fade into the university wall paper. No one looked at me; I credit you for this, sir. You were unaware of the many stares directed at you. I know this because you stood at a stop light and yelled at someone you knew in the parallel crosswalk. The young man was wearing ear buds, so you yelled louder and began to flail wildly on the street corner. It was an odd scene, accentuated by the way the young man waved back at you sheepishly, but this was not the odd part.
From somewhere, a time-warp maybe, you discovered a pair of spandex shorts. I know you did not find these in your underwear drawer. If you had, you may have worn a pair of the nearby underwear, but you very clearly chose to NOT wear underwear. I do not claim to know whether your decision was based on a sense of pride, or whether this was an oversight, a faux-pas in your daily sequence, or if you thought, “No one can tell.” Allow me to address these possibilities in the order in which I have presented them: congratulations, everyone forgets things, and yes, everyone can tell. Whatever the case, you’ve got a lot of balls, man. I know.
The only other possibility is that you just don’t care, a kind of jambalaya of the other presented renderings. In my mind I credited you with this option. Your carefree willingness to blithely share yourself with others put me at ease. I walked to my classes with unequaled confidence for the rest of the day. So, thanks.
Yours,
Ryan (AKA: dark khakis and, if you must know, boxer-briefs)
Today’s letter was written by Name: Ryan
Twitter: reamofpaper
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Written From: Ohio USA