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No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service…..You Didn’t Say Anything About Pants

Dear Pantless Grocery Shopper, I had to take a double, triple and quadruple take when I saw you cruising the aisles of the grocery store wearing, what appeared to be, only a dress shirt. It was is I was thrust into a stereotypical nightmare where I was out wanding in public without any pants on; except that this had to be your nightmare. With sleeves rolled up to your elbows, top three buttons undone and a gold chain resting comfortably on a nest of graying chest hair, you  acted as "it ain't no thang" to drop trou and buy some milk.  I eyed you quizzically wandering down the chips and cracker aisle when it happened. Without hesitation you reached up to the top shelf as your shirt inevitably rode higher and higher until . . . . . .  (pause for effect) I saw you wearing the shortest shorts I have ever seen a man wear. Fear is only as powerful as the individual makes it. But shorts or no shorts, I wouldn't have the balls (pun fully intended) to buy my groceries wearing the outfit that you seemed so comfortable in. Keep truckin'.